Burnout and grief can be overwhelming when they strike you at the same time.
Some days are fairly ok and then some are hole-climbing days. At the moment, a hole would be a comfortable place. The thought of seeing people can be paralyzing, however, when I see people, the feeling disappears. When the people go away, I ask myself, “How did I just do that?” A normal, every day task can be so daunting that I want to back away from it. Sometimes, even watching someone do a normal everyday task causes anxiety.
Although it has to be done, I have to go shopping with a friend tonight. Shopping on a normal day is rotten. Today, I will have to make myself get in the car. When I’m like this, driving can be unsafe. I sometimes cannot see things around me because of the tunnel vision. I just have to remind myself that all I have to do is buy a blouse and go home and I should be good. I hope that it clears up my mind enough to make it to this short excursion.
A nap before the trip may do me a world of good…